I hate mechanical objects

Okay So I have had all I can take with this freakin car I bought.

Last week, my serpentine belt snapped on me. Now, three times this week I have had the belt come off. The first time was saturday night. I had to call a mobile repair guy. It lasted a whole 24 hours. Then Sunday, it cme off again and I ended up having to stay at a friends house because I had no way home and no one to fix it. Then this morning/afternoon, I got it fixed again. This evening while driving with my kids in the car...my air conditioner quits and my temperature gauge goes through the roof....but at least I didn’t lose my power steering. God does have a sense of humor, after all!!!

I keep telling people god hates me and they didn’t believe me...maybe now they will listen!

I am calling the dealership in the morning. This is ridiculous. I have spent far too much money to have a car that breaks down every five minutes. The belt came off only some of the pulleys this time....so better than the last three times it broke...but it is still broken...and I am still pissed!

And add to that frustration the fact that it is almost 10 at night and my four year old wont go to bed. He has a school bus coming at 7 tomorrow morning and his little ass is still wide awake!!! he is having adjustment issues these days. his dad and I just finalized our divorce in July and ever since there are days when this boy is downright rotten, and he does not behave like that at his dads. I really just don’t know what to do...

Anyone have any advice I am all ears. I am at my wits end here!!!

Going back to work now now that I have that rant out of my system.

Just OMG

I really do not even know what else to say. I finally decide to leave the house... FOR ONCE... and someones hits my F****ng car in the damned parking lot of the place I went to hang with my friends for a while. Just WTF?!?!?!? So I guess I will have to crawl back into my hermit hole for a while now!!!!!


Such total BS..I actually watched the guy hit my car and then race out of the parking lot. But I am a total dumbass and only got half of his freakin plate number. And there is not a massive amount of damage but it is the principle behind the thing. The paint is scratched up real bad on the back bumper and there is a semi-small crack in the middle of the bumper. I can probably just get touch up and fix the pain myself but it is the principle of the thing dammit.

And, I have only had the GD car two weeks!!!!! Assholes!!!

This is what happens when you add alcohol to stupid, I guess.

On another note, I began Operation Insanity (c) today. Yep, I am copyrighting that phrase so no one can steal it! I am now employed by two different companies. Both doing the same work and still both working at home, but still. We shall see how this will go because theoretically I work full time for both of them!!! But then again, I do full time work in half the time it takes others, so I work part time hours, essentially and am still doing full time productivity. It is wierd and hard to explain. Ya want specifics, read my other blog at www.lifemt.blogspot.com

But, my second job kicks ass. It pays more than my first one, and I have already cleared QA, which is sort of like a probationary period in a regular job at, like, Wal-Mart or something. Awesome stuff!

All in all things are not going so bad. New Karaoke Contest starts in two weeks. That is gonna be bad ass cus I think I have a pretty good chance this time, but we will see. I am kinda looking forward to it, like I always do with these contests, more for the fact that it gets me involved with stuff rather than sitting at home in ny own head all of the time.

And then next weekend I am helping out with a benefit for a friend who just recently got a crappy diagnosis and a bunch of peoples are trying to raise money to help with her medical expenses. So I will get to see what 9 a.m. looks like on a weekend. Should be fun!!! Nah it will be cool cus it is an awesome cause and I readily volunteered for the privelige. Okay, I probably spelled that wrong. They need to put a spellcheck on here.

Okay, SO I have procrastinated long enough and I need to drag my ass back to work now. Hmm...Which job to do this hour!!! LOL I love having options. This is great.

Questons

When did we lose sight of what was important? When did we forget that this wasn't about us?

When did we turn into such hateful people who can't seem to accomplish anything because we are too angry? I remember a time when things weren't this way. I know there is no way to get that time back, but I wish...

When did we forget about what was important? Why is it that the ones we swore to protect with our own lives are now the reason we can't stop screaming? We created this situation. Now it is our job to figure out a way out of it. Together. Peacefully, for the sake of those who cannot speak for themselves.

Two adults, and yet can't have a conversation without sounding like two year olds. The little ones seeming more mature than those responsible for their care. Why?

Why? Because somewhere along the way we lost sight of what was important. Somewhere along the way we just forgot.

Where is the happy medium?? I don't know. How do you find peace in the middle of a war? I don't know.

So many questions that I cannot find the answer to alone. I don't expect things to be the way they used to be. That would be asking too much. But I want to find a way to make it better. A way to make it so that TODAY can never happen again. What are the answers.

These questions burn in my mind like a fire being stoked by the wind. Tears fill my eyes as i realize that we have come here again. I thought that things had gotten better. How can a person have so much hatred as you feel for me. It kills me inside to think what I have done to create that in you. It kills me inside to think that I am the maker of my own misery, through the disdain you have in your heart for me.

Remember that once, we said that we would walk together, find our way together. I know we cannot have that back, but maybe, just maybe, there can be a happy medium between that, and where we have gone and what we have become.

There has to be a way. I am willing. I am ready. I am trying. I am listening. I am here. Just say the word.

And if not, Don't forget me.

People suck

So why is it that people feel the need to be complete jerkoffs, just for the fun of it?
Why do people feel the need to do spiteful, hurtful things to others, just because they can?

Every religion or path to faith, or whatever ya wanna call it, has their own way of putting things. Some say "Do unto others, as you would have done to you." The basic theory is whatever you put out there is going to come back.

If you are kind and generous with your time, then that will be rewarded in kind. But it goes both ways. If you are a total asswipe, that will come back too.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not talking an eye for an eye here, but karma. Try it. Do something mildly rotten. Within a short period of time, something slightly more rotten will happen to you or someone you love.

Okay, so now some of you are thinking "oh boy, its that chain letter crap." No not like that. But if I am kind and generous, and do my best to be helpful and friendly to people around me, good things will come to me. If I chose to treat people like garbage and walk on them, bad things will happen to me.

I do my best to treat people the way I want to be treated. Too bad everyone else doesn't live that way. But the funny thing is that they won't win. I am going to keep doing the best I can to be the best person I can. I love my life, and I love my children. I wouldn't trade where I am or what I have gone through for anything. It is all part of the process.

For today, I am going to try even harder to be a better person. I wish I could instill this in the people around me, but I guess I will have to settle for instilling it in my children.

Life happens, and when it does, you just pick up the pieces and keep trudging on.

Valentines Day Sucks

Okay, so I am sitting here. It is almost one in the morning on Valentine's Day. It has been Valentine's day for a whole half an hour or so, and already I think it stinks!!!

I am just remembering every other Valentine's Day from years past and remembering all the sappy crap I have had to witness and endure. I remember all the "happy" couples who feel the need to rub in the face of their single friends that they have someone to share it with when they are all alone and miserable.

Well, news flash. I am one of those people who is alone. And I have formulated an opinion about this "holiday" that I would like to share with my readers.

Why do people feel the need to be complete jerks all year, and then think that they can make up for all the bullshit they pulled all year but spending a shitload of money this one day, thinking that will make everything okay? What douchebags!!!

Why can't people just be real and show how they feel all year long, instead of just trying to be all fake and thinking they can buy your affection?

Heres a news flash. Silly little things, like remembering to say I love you every day, writing little notes. And I dont mean notes saying " I want your body, lets have sex" but things like, "I will be thinking of you today."

Love cannot be bought, or at least it shouldnt be able to be. It should be something that is felt and lived. It should be a part of who you are, not what you can get for someone, and certainly not what you can get out of them. People confuse lust and love way too much these days.

Love is something you have to work for, and work at. You have to diligently work to make sure the one you are with knows that they can depend on you. You have to make sure they know you appreciate them, and they will return the affections.

So try something. Make your loved one breakfast in bed, Tell them you love them. Find some chore around the house that they dislike doing, and just do it for them. If you aren't all that domesticated, look it up. There is a shitload of information on the web (you know, that thing you use to look at porno all the time when the girlfriend isn't around).

Don't get me wrong, flowers and stuff are nice, but why does there have to be a "holiday" for you to do it. Do it because it is a thursday, or because it's April, or whatever. Just because. Do it because you have absolutely no reason or motive at all.

Make sure the people in your life know how you feel about them, and they will return the gesture. They will let you know how they feel about you, and they will live, happier, healthier lives because of it.

Okay, so down off the soap box now, my carpal tunnel is acting up. Enjoy each other. Life is too short to waste time.