Sanity is Overrated

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21 July 2007

And now for the credits!!!

So..for any of you who don't know about the recent drama in my life, here is the deal.

Back in February as I am sitting here chillin out with my kids, there is a knock on the door from a state employee who was called in the make my life miserable. If you know me well enough, you can probably figure out who notifed said state employee. If you don't know me that well, it is still probably pretty easy to figure out. There were accusations of death threats aimed toward my two favorite midgets. There were accusations about not properly caring for said little midgets. Using an oven as a heat source where said little midgets could become injured, and similar lines of total crap.

Thus began a gruelling and utterly exhausting six month process. I was informed that I had to immediately return said children to their other parental unit. The next day I get a phone call that I will need to appear in court, that custody has been given to the father as they thought my home was unsafe.

So I go to court and the judge gives me a lawyer and they go through all this trial and court type stuff. I am unable to see my kids for a couple weeks until next court date.

Then i get to see them for a couple hours on a weekend day.

Then i go back to court and i am told i can see them but cant take them to my house i can pick them up for a few hours one day a week.

Then we go back to court and i can pick them up for a couple hours a few times a week from daycare, but that they daycare has to be notified ahead of time.

Then i am aloud to have the kids back at my house after several inspections and a lot of work on the part of my lawyer.

Then i get to have them on weekends.

Then we take this abatement thing, which is like a plea bargain. it is like saying i am not saying i did anything wrong, but i am not going to deal with all this crap anymore and i just want it to go away.

Then i go for a status hearing and my lawyer the court gave me isnt there...she has dissappeared...phone shut off...find out weeks later she is nmot working this type of case anymore.

then a week or two after this i get a phone call that says "I want to settle." YAY. This is good news!!!!!!


For those of you who do not know, My husband went out one night, 11/14/05, and never came home. He decided he had found a better deal and did not want to be a husband and a father anymore...or that is the way i took it because of his lack of contact with his son or lack of concern with his unborn daughter. We tried being friends but his new woman made that difficult...apparently she thought i wanted to try and steal him back or something....hah yeah right she could have him...he walked out on me when i was pregnant with his second child and never looked back,


but back to the phone call. Willing to settle..joint custody...the whole nine yards.

And since then the lines of communication have been a little more open. We have worked out an arrangement that is what we both feel is best for the kids. WE have managed to be able to do a little better than just being civil, which was all we could do at best on a good day since this mess started in FEbruary.

We go to court on Monday, and the STATE crap closes out. The court did assign me a new attorney whom i have never seen...never spoken too, and have no idea anything about. my divorce attorney told me about this new lawyer

my divorce attorney will be present at the hearing on Monday, and we will hopefully get the settlement agreement entered and signed by the judge, and then we go immediately into living a new, single life.


That is going to be a little wierd. that has always been my safeguard. I havent really dated because in my mind i was still legally married and it never felt right. There were a few opportunities that came up and i just pushed people away out of fear. if said people are reading this, i am sorry..it was nothing to do with you. I was afraid of being hurt again. i couldnt handle being hurt again. I am still afraid..but i dont know, things are different now.

so after monday, i will probably officially be a single woman again!! that is going to be a little strange, even thogh i have been living that way for almost two years now.

I am not sure where to go from here...or how things are going to turn out. my finances have been a little hairy, but work is picking up and some positive changes are happening on that front, so things should be changing for the better very soon.

I love you all so much, and thank you for standing by me. This has been a long process and you have no idea how much your support has meant to me. There are a few of you who have almost literally held my head when i puked because the stress was too much. There were all those long nights where i just cried and cried and did not know what to do.

But i am getting better now. And i never would have made it without my friends. with one exception, my family wasnt much help and i had to find somewhere to lean. If in this process i did anything that hurt you i am sorry. But i am better now. I am a new me who can be open and free.

Look out world! because here I come.
 
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