Caution: I am hitting that touchy religion and such subject here.

DISCLAIMER: This may very well go into a realm that some may find uncomfortable, and I will probably mention the subject of the "G" word somewhere in here. If this offends you, please just skip over this post.

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So, here I am again! Did you miss me? If you answered yes to that, then I am impressed that you have managed to handle the insanity I have managed to spew out over the years.

So this Halloween was a rather eventful day for us. As some of you may or may not be aware, several months ago, we started going to church. Yep, me. I know, you are in shock, right? And for those of you who know my husband, you must really be picking your jaw up off of the floor by now at the thought of the two of us sitting in a church, aren't you?

I know that many of you who might read this have heard my rant about my opinions on organized religion on several occasions, and I know I have said that it would take a severe blow to the head to get me to change my mind. No, I have not suffered a concussion or any other kind of head injury, nor have I had any life-threatening illnesses that have miraculously disappeared to get me to change my mind about things. And yes, there is a but coming.

When we found out the baby was coming, the realization came that maybe there were things in our lives that we needed to re-evaluate. I am not going to lie. It hit my husband first, and the going to church thing was his idea, and I told myself I was just going along with it because he thought it was what we should be doing and it was the right thing for our child to have that kind of support system in place when she came along. But then, as I had been sitting there for several Sundays, I don't really know, something changed.

It has been a rough road. There was a point where the doctor was convinced that the baby would be coming much earlier than planned or anticipated. They were saying that I would be lucky to make it to 35 weeks, and that we would just have to hope for the best. We had nothing, and no idea how we were going to prepare for her arrival that quickly with our limited finances. We received a massive outpouring of support from the members of this small little church.

And amazingly, we made it all the way to 39 weeks before she came. There was a bit of a scare, as when my water broke, it had that tell-tale greenish-brown tinge to it. (If you don't know what that means, look up meconium and amniotic fluid..it can be a scary process that requires an immediate evaluation of the newborn by a respiratory therapist and can cause a bunch of problems). Then it looked like she might have been tangled up with her umbilical cord a bit. But she is a beautiful, healthy baby girl with no major health problems thus far. We may be dealing with a little bit of acid reflux, but that is relatively minor compared to what I have seen around me with other friends and their babies lately, so I am grateful for the way things have worked out for us.

Any of you out there with kids, you remember that exhausting first few days or so home with your baby? Remember how tired you were, and a lot of the routine things that needed to be done kind of slipped to the wayside, because you were just exhausted? Yup..First two days home from the hospital..I was so tired from dealing with the baby that I completely forgot to eat unless I was reminded. And of course, since my husband was at work..there was no one to remind me to eat! Well, after hearing this, we received another round of support, and again, our needs were provided for for a couple of days while I could get myself settled into a better routine of being able to provide for my own needs. We had food in the house, but I just didn't have the energy to cook it.

So fast forward (I know, it was only a couple days, but it felt like a lifetime) to today. We took 8 day old Lauren to church for the first time, and she was in all her glory, getting tons of attention. Then after the service, we enjoyed a wonderful meal with the other people in attendance, and were given some support and assistance so that we could enjoy our meal and take care of our child's needs at the same time.

Then we spent the day with some very good friends that are really more like family, and it was one of the best days I have had in a very long time. Of course, a lot of the emotions I have been ignoring for quite a while decided to nail me in the head with a 2x4 by the time the night was over. I am very overwhelmed right now by circumstances that I have no control over, and no matter how much I want to, I just can't change it right now. I know that in time, it will get better, and everything will work out the way it is supposed to, but sometimes it is hard for me to see that in the middle of it. I am trying to do what I can to help myself so that I can be the best mom and wife that I can be, but I have to remember that if I forget to take care of myself, I am useless to them. In time, I know that whoever is really in charge of this shindig we call life will take care of what needs to be taken care of. We have never gone without and all of our basic needs are taken care of.

I have faith now that in time, everything will work out, it will get better, and we will get through. Thanks to those of you who have been here for us, and have supported us on this journey. We have leaned on you and you have shouldered us through the rocky parts of the road, and while I know there are more trials ahead, I know that with all of you beside us, we can get through it. I don't want to name names, but you know who you are. Thank you. We love you all.

Now, I am going to go stare at my little girl for a few minutes, and then curl up in my bed and get some sleep before she wakes up and sets our nightly routine into motion.