The way things are

So here I am, sitting on my omputer chair, in front of my makeshift desk that used to be an entertainment center, but didn't realize that it was in for a makeover.

I am trying to gather my thoughts and start my day, but concentration seems to alude me. hings have not been at all as they have seemed to the world around me, and things have been confusing, even to me.

I kbow that eventually, everything has to change, but it still sucks. Sometimes I do not want to face the reality that is the world I live in.


Since I wrote last, things have gotten a bit out of whack with my life. I had to move for a number of reasons, one being that things got just a little uncomfortable where I was living before when my ex husband moved in practically next door. Besides that, that home just was not safe anymore. It probably was not to begin with, but it was home, nonetheless.

I found out a couple of weeks ago from my four year old that my exhusband got remarried. And the woman felt the need to tell me, oh by the way, xxxxx and I got married, just thought I should tell you in case you get any of my mail.
U wabted to scream.

I have come to realize that men are stupid. They think they want something, and they keep changing their mind more often than I change my socks (for those of you not in the know, I usually dont wear socks for more than a couple hours at a time...not crazy bout socks)

Every time I meet a man, as soon as they find out I have kids, they bail out. If you are not man enough to handle that, then just leave me alone. You are not worth the waste of my time anymore.

This has been a rough year for me. I have had to do a lot of fighting that I wish I didn't have to do. But the end result is something I can live with, for now anyway. I will see what happens when tomorrow gets here, if it ever does.


I still try to live each day like it may be my last, because I never know when it will be. I am doing my best with what I have to work with every day, and that is all any of us really can do.

I also came to realize that there are a lot of people I THOUGHT were my friends, that really couldn't care less. Almost noe of them were around when I needed them. When the shit realy hits the fam, I can count the people who will be there for me on one hand, and that is really sad.

But, I will be alright, and I know it. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and living each day the way I think is right. I try to be a good mother, sister, daughter, and friend, and I hope I am getting it right. I am not perfect, but I try to do my best.

I love all of you who faithfully read this crap, even though I dont know who most of you are, since you never comment (hint, hint!)

I need to grt my butt in gear today, as i have a long weekend ahead of me and i have a lot of work to do in order to ensure that my financial obligations are met. I am trying to do my best and that is all any of us really can do, right?

Until next time.