Sometimes I am amazed

In the face of catastrophe, or at least perceived catastrophe, we find that there is ALWAYS an answer, even if it is an avenue we would not have thought of.

I find myself facing difficult decisions, and difficult times. Today, I find myself facing the reality that has become my life, and knowing that things are never going to be easy. But then again, I know that anything worth having is worth working very hard for.

Sometimes it is a matter of having faith, something I find myself very short on a lot these days. I find myself wondering what the reasoning is, and forgetting that it is not my place to know these things.

And, when things get really rough, I have friends I can count on, even if it is just a phone call to say "You know everything will be alright, and there is a way back out of the dark."

I find that the people I thought I could count on may not always be there, and that there are others who I never would have expected that will pick me up when I am broken and crying. I find that I am re-evaluating my definition of what a friend is and realizing that I had more of them then I thought, and that others that I thought were friends ... really are not.

I have found myself in a lot of difficult situations here recently, and there are a few people who have been there, and helped me get through this tough time, without my even asking, they just stepped up and were there for me when i needed someone. I want to say thank you to those people, whom I am sure will probably read this at some point.

It amazes me how people who i have known for a short time feel like family to me, and I am forever grateful, and love them for everything they have done, every kind word, every ride somewhere when i needed it, every minute they have spent with me to make sure that i was going to be alright, and eveyr phone call made on my behalf. They know who they are and I hope they know that I am forever grateful for all they have done.

These thoughts needed to be expressed, and I could find no better way than this. I am lousy at thank yous, and telling people how I feel. I cant bring myself to tell the ones who have hurt me how i feel, except through this forum. And I cant seem to get the words thank you, and I love you, out of my mouth, but they flow through my fingers without difficulty. I guess that will be my next character flaw to work on.



Love for now, and have a safe and pleasant journey thruogh this thing we call life.



Me